My aim versus life’s aim 16/6/2015

50lb takedown recurve bow practice

I haven’t written much of a blog really, seems like I’ve been doing everything and nothing. Writing is one of my keen passions and sadly haven’t had as much time to do all that I have wanted.
Winter solstice is fast approaching and I have just left my hometown.
A dear friend of mine lightheartedly pointed out to me in conversation, that its difficult to write about people and events when you are around those people.
Oh too true!

“What have you been up to, O Smoky?” I have been asked.

Trying to emancipate “Framily” (friends, family and friends who’ve become family), from being wage and debt slaves.

Actively cajoling to outright pushing people to join the “green rebellion” and grow their own food.
Making peace with the death of my former life and my former self.

And finally, saying goodbye to the people and places  I’m leaving behind, as I grow and evolve whilst exploring and travelling and green rebelling.

Its been a lot of fun sojourning in my hometown, staying with people, living with them for a time, getting to know them in less verbal ways and far more experiential ways.
At times its been downright frustrating as well.
I daresay for the circle of people I call framily as well.

I’ve explored places I never had time to see as previously working or distracted. I’ve picked fruits and vegetables from around the region. “Gone Bush” on day trips. Had intense discussions with everyone about everything. Dumpster diving for food. BBQ’s, dinners, lunches galore. Administered treatments, counselled those who’ve needed it.
Offers of romance from near and far have amazingly  presented as well.
I’ve not slept much, eating is getting less (frequency and volume), yoga and meditation dropped away as I moved around.
Riding my bike has been sporadic. Some days 150 km plus and others none at all.
I was slowly being pulled into other peoples life choices and found myself losing aim on what’s truly important to me.

I’ve had a lot of people offer to “help me out” by offering me a place to stay and food to eat. Its so greatly appreciated but it kept me longer than I planned.
Its been comfortable, cosy, as I have been “home”
But it was wracking my soul.

What have I learnt from this?
Be very clear on what I want and what I don’t want and what’s an agreeable arrangement.
After all I have the 4 agreement’s tattooed on my right forearm and as I slowly “fell asleep” in suburban living again, I forget to follow my guiding light.

Wild celery growing by a creek

So in future I won’t be engaging in anything with anyone unless first and foremost it sits right with my heart and souls values.

Aside from that, I’ve met a lot of really top people, shared some great moments, hung out with kindred spirits, whom are on the cusp of becoming more of their true selves and less of a societal clone.
I’ve managed to drop 12kg of weight off my touring gear. 10kg off me (under 110kg, so much muscle lost:'(). I sold some stuff and traded other bits.
And received some really helpful kit and advice.

I’ve learnt to “say yes” to opportunities that present, to continually live an experiential, aware and focused life. (Thank you DJ McTastic!)
For ending up at an Anzac day street party with a gang of hard drinking filth talking diggers in the cold and rain was a memorable experience I wouldn’t have had, if I had said “hmmmm, no thanks”.
Living each day as if it is the day you’re going to lay down at the end of it and never wake up, is a heady and at times fearful prospect.
After all we all like to know where we are going in life!

Further to this, I’ve come across a technique to help navigate my uncertainty in being completely free.
A silver coin.
I have a coin with a hole drilled through it, its now a paracord pendant, hanging around my neck, next to my new tattoo.
If I’m not sure where I’m going or what to do I take it out and flip it. Heads or tails, yay or nay, left or right, north or east etc.
(Thank you Grizz!)
This is what I’m now referring to as my “experience multiplier”
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I have no idea how all this will end up.

But isn’t that a truth for us all?